Coming To An End

Some of you may know, and many others may not, that my Grandpa Fowler has been battling lung cancer for a little over a year and a half. This past week we were told that his condition is beyond helping any further. Hospice will be coming to his home to keep him comfortable until he passes away but treatment will be stopped. On the plus side, he has hung on way longer than most people with his same condition. The down side, of course, is that we are losing a huge part of our family. The diagnosis came as such a shock. Christmas of 2006 came and went. The entire Fowler family was together as usual and life was good. Shortly after that the news hit. Grandpa has lung cancer. My mom's dad had lung cancer and he passed away less than 2 months after his diagnosis. How much time would we get with my grandpa? The next year and a half was a roller coaster. In and out of the hospitals, being told that he had less than a week and then him pulling out better then ever, everything that goes along with having a terminal illness.

While I have never been as close to my grandpa as some of my other family members, this has still been so hard to take in. To think about him really being gone. There were always things that you could count on when you went to my grandparents. One was that my grandpa would be sitting in his recliner drinking his coffee. It's so hard for me to think that in a short time that will no longer be.

Definitely the hardest part for me is to see my dad go through this. No one is closer to my grandpa then my dad. He is the only son of the 4 children. My grandpa taught my dad so much and I see my dad passing those things on to his sons. In a way I guess my grandpa will live on forever. I just see how much my dad is hurting and I can't help but think "what would I do if I lost my dad?" I feel so fortunate to have my dad and the entire Fowler family in my life. My dad stepped up to the plate to take the role of my dad when I didn't have one. He is an irreplaceable person in my life. I don't know what I would do if I lost him.

Though my grandpa has not passed away yet, hospice really means that it's only a matter of time. As his life is coming to an end, I realize how blessed I am to have been a part of the life that he had. He is truly an amazing man. I just wish that he didn't have to go through everything that he did the last year or so.